I have a problem with finishing my work. I will start a painting with every intention of actually finishing it, but then I get frustrated, or bored, or tired of it – whatever – so I put it aside and start working on something else. Pictured are a few of my “undone” pieces. I have more but couldn’t fit them all into the picture. Do I procrastinate? Sometimes. Other times I just feel like I cannot make the painting the way I want it to be. I doubt my ability. There are also times when I look at my work and think, “Who is going to buy that? Other artists are way better than me.” I compare myself to others way too much. I do that in other areas of my life as well. I compare my abilities as a cake decorator to others in the business. A good friend of mine told me not to compare my roses to another person’s roses because everyone is different and that difference is okay. I compare my appearance to other people I see when I am out and about. I am not judging the other people – I am judging myself. I compare my living situation and financial status to others. You know what I mean. The result of all of this is that I feel terrible – like I myself am “undone.” I hate when I do this, yet I keep on doing it. How can I ever become “complete” when I keep seeing the inadequacies in myself and my life? How depressing. There is something I do like about myself though and perhaps it is the key to eventually feeling complete. Even though I stop and put things aside or see myself as inadequate, I keep on moving forward. I may put a painting aside, but then I pick up another and start over. I may initially fail at getting in shape, but I keep trying. When my finances are tight I try to figure out how to improve my income – or reduce my spending. Even though I have doubts and failures, I just keep moving forward. Perhaps that will get me to a place of “completeness” someday. I sure hope so.

11 Apr This entry was published on April 11, 2013 at 8:22 pm. It’s filed under Uncategorized and tagged compare, complete, depressing, done, finished, forward, inadequate, judge, paint, painting, procrastinate, undone. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.