amylenore

A Wee Bit Sad

HPIM6301When I sat down to paint today I was feeling sad. I have been divorced about nine years and have had a handful of very short relationships since then. The last time I had a date was probably 2 years ago. And I didn’t even like the guy very much. Most of the time I am quite content with being alone, even enjoying it at times. But once in awhile I get very sad and feel really alone. I have my kids – two adult kids and one in middle school – but it is not the same as having a companion to share life with. A big part of the problem is me of course. I have not put myself “out there” as it were – mostly due to fear. My marriage ended badly, my husband was not who I thought he was and I was on the bottom of his priority list(fishing was number one). When I dated, I felt desperate to find “the one” who would save me and so became clingy and foolish. One guy I really liked “disappeared” for awhile and I found out later he was in prison on child molestation charges. I felt as if I was unable to figure things out – how do you trust what a person seems to be? I’m afraid of being foolish and clingy again. I keep telling myself that the right guy will come along at just the right time – but it is getting hard to wait. At least I do have a job to keep me busy and my kids to take care of, so I don’t have time to really pine for a lover. I just get a wee bit sad, shed a tear or two and pick myself up and move forward. Single or not that is what I do.

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This entry was published on March 12, 2013 at 3:54 am. It’s filed under Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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