amylenore

I’m Dreaming of……..

AmyCalvertBuildingaDreamNight Dreams are weird. There are of course the dreams we have at night and then the dreams we have for our lives or for the lives of our loved ones. I actually have LOTS of night dreams –  most of them interesting, some of them humorous (after I wake up) – a few of them downright scary! They are often vivid and detailed. Some of them I have in one form or another many many times over the years – I think they are my stress dreams – being chased by something (could be a person, an alien, a dinosaur, or other animal) and trying to find a place to hide from them. I have had some dreams that seemed so real that I was actually surprised when I woke up. I enjoy my night dreams as I see them as a sort of entertainment when I sleep.

The dreams I have for myself are different of course. Some dreams I have fulfilled – graduating college, having children, moving to a place that I find relaxing and peaceful. There are some dreams that I fulfilled and discovered that they were not so great afterall. I had often wanted to live in an old farm-type house. I moved my children and myself to one many years ago. I loved the house! My kids did not. It turned out to be very cold in the winter and I didn’t have the resources to improve the heating or to improve the house for that matter. I probably could have made due, but my children were suffering. I discovered then that my dream wasn’t necessarily their dream and because my children meant more to me, we moved. Another dream that I fulfilled was that of having my own business – creating and selling my art. I did so enjoy the flexibility that the job held. I actually found it quite stressful though. I was always needing to create items that perhaps I didn’t want to create just because I knew they would sell well and we needed the money. I discovered that I wanted to create what I wanted to create more than creating things just for money. My interest waned as did the money and so now I have a job outside of the home, paint when I have time and am much happier.

Then there are the dreams I have for the people I love. My kids are all so different, yet surprisingly the same. Or perhaps it is my dreams for them that are the same. I do not have dreams of them going to college as they really are not suited for college (a couple have learning disabilities that would make college exceedingly difficult). My dream for my children is that they find their niche in the world and can be happy in their chosen profession – whatever it is (as long as it is legal of course). I also want them to be able to be independent and to be able to manage things like balancing their checkbooks, paying their bills on time, being responsible. My oldest in on her way. My second one is floundering a bit. My third one is still in middle school. And then there is the problem of my kids having their own dreams that seem rather far-fetched to me, but my not wanting to break their hearts by telling them that. I suppose they need to have their own dreams and discover for themselves what is and is not possible as they grow and mature. Afterall I wanted to be a model when I was younger (I am only 5′ 4″ tall and have a rather fat face) – I also wanted to become a fashion buyer when I was in college (and then discovered that I wanted to be home for my husband more than traveling). Dreams change and grow – going in directions that we would not have imagined – just like our dreams when we sleep. I hope that I will always have dreams in my life – even when I am very old and close to death. They just keep you going – in your mind at least.

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This entry was published on November 15, 2014 at 5:11 pm. It’s filed under Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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