My son Jake’s special needs was a huge influence on my quitting my regular job as a bookkeeper and focus on my family and start painting on a regular basis for income. I was really unsure at first in regard to my painting. I often felt I had no idea what I was doing and I often felt frustrated at how long things took me to paint. I also was confused because I would attempt to paint like the artists in the “how-to” books and my paintings came out different – or I struggled with the techniques they suggested. And figuring out what to charge for my artwork was very difficult for me – what was my painting worth?
It took me a long time to figure out what techniques worked for me and which ones didn’t. It often felt as if I did things backwards from what was recommended for particular effects. For the longest time I felt I simply could not do furry critters justice as my ability to paint fur was lacking. That is one reason I got into painting snakes – no fur!
It also took me a long time to feel confident in what I was doing – and to see that my artwork was really good. There are still times when I get so frustrated that I have to put the painting down and leave it – and start working on something else. Later on I will pick it up again and continue where I left off. It seems to work for me and I eventually get the painting finished. I often wonder if other artists are as neurotic as I am – getting frustrated because I can’t get the eye of the animal just right – or the color is not what I envisioned – or it just looks like crap. Sometimes I completely start a painting over again – painting black over the top of what I had previously done and starting anew. I wish life were like that sometimes – you could just black out the things you don’t like and start over again from scratch. Wouldn’t that be nice…
amylenore 